Over Remembrance Day weekend, I spent time with a dear friend of mine who I hadn’t seen for YEARS… & yet it felt like just yesterday. She’s one of those people, you wished you had met years ago but cherish when you did & forever after that.
I’ve said this time & time again but being on the road has led me to rekindle relationships that we’re really more than just relationships, they were subtle reminders of just how important connection is to me.
How important family is to me.. & that family isn’t always blood.
It was a reminder that as an empath and someone who feels so deeply on such a deeper level, I do (at times) rely on my loved ones to remind me of my worth. It’s a blessing & a curse that I’d truly feel so lost without those under the category of a best friend.
The cyber definition of a best friend, is –
“Your closest friend. A person you know well and regard with affection and trust.”
I have many yet very few, I’ve witnessed what it feels to have the type of relationships in your life where people would lay themselves on the line for you. I’ve witnessed those in my life that have stuck by my ugliness, my overbearingness, my need of reassurance..
my shit relationships << that’s a big one. lol
I’ll admit it’s nearly an insecurity just how much losing a friendship affects me. It’s a hard truth that friends may come & go however your soul tribe will always remain –
but it’s finding that along the way first.
My best friends show me where I can be a better friend, my best friends show me how different I am from a lot of people in my life but they accept me for everything I am without judgement. My best friends keep me safe, & provide me the security that I don’t always find it myself. My kind of best friend is someone who will have my back always, through thick and thin, who provide me the space to speak my mind even when they may disagree with me – they still see the good in my heart.
Yes. Like many, I had to heal a lot of “co-dependency” BS from my childhood which at one point in my life led me into horrible romantic relationships (IYKYK). On a completely normal side note, the make up of a humans design – are not meant to be alone. We’re meant to be within a community, we rely on that community to make decisions in life & create beautiful memories. We rely heavily on our relationships because humans were not created to go through life alone. & thus it’s SO incredibly important in this human experience to surround yourself with only those who are secure in your life, through thick & thin.
When I learnt this I felt so much more normal & I needed to hear that.
Though I also acknowledge people’s experiences are different.
Anyways, back to the point…. If it wasn’t for all of you ~
My few best friends [my family]
I want you to know…
… That I apologize for not always showing with my actions just how much ya’ll mean to me.
… That I apologize for not always picking up the phone to call at times when I could’ve – at the cost of convincing myself I’m an inconvenience to you & likely a burden more or less if I pick up that phone.
… That I apologize & continue to do so, for the times you’ve had to reassure me that I’m not those things & really allow myself to let go of those emotions.
… That I apologize for any time I’ve ever made you feel less than because I needed more of your attention due to the lack of connection I felt with the ones that mean the most to me… all because of the second point in this storybook blog post.
As social as I can be, I’m still such an introvert. While it’s also important to keep my community around. I recognize I’m an emotional person, I feel & see things differently, I express emotion openly – far more than my friends do haha. But I have to say thank you for accepting me for everything I am that you may not be, for welcoming me into your space when you need a different perspective & choosing ME to help solve a problem or talk life too.
Thank you for continuously making an effort to show me I’m wanted & at times needed in your life (bc believe it or not, that’s also a common trait to the human design in all of us).
It’s the random call, the lengthy text you send (that I know none of you like to write lol), the little things where you stopped life for a moment to say “hey, thinking of you while your gone.” that lift me up more than you’ll ever know.
I’d do anything in my power for yous 🤍 Thank You
Sending you a billon Blessing, xo
Love, Cassandra, Tucker… & Oliver-Boots